I know I’m fourteen days late for New Years talk but just bear with me.
2020.
A new year. A new decade. The perfect vision that I will never have. But in this context—a fresh start.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. New Years and resolutions and the whole “new year, new me” thing is all bullshit. Some could say that it’s yet another commercial ploy to sell gym memberships, workout gear, and healthy food. That’s a fair assumption. The truth is that you can makes changes in your life whenever you want. It could be January 1st, the third Sunday in July, mid-October, or December 31st at 11:58PM. The motivation behind making changes is what matters, not the time you start.
BUT—
I am one of those people who subscribe to the “new year, new me” mantra. I love the feeling of a fresh start, sue me. There’s an undeniable feeling surrounding the beginning of a new year. It’s like turning a new page and having 365 (366 in this year) blank pages to fill however you want. I really love that feeling. I get the same feeling about Mondays.
So, let’s talk about 2020.
I’m still in awe that we’re already in the ‘20s. Also, the fact that the ’20s will now be referring to the 2020s going forward. That makes me a bit sad because I love the 1920s and it’s weird to think they were one hundred years ago. I wonder if people in 1920 felt the same and lamented over the 1820s. Were the 1820s even fun? Somehow, I doubt it.
In all seriousness, I’m claiming that 2020 will be the year. But, for real this time. Not like 2019 was going to be the year. I entered this new year and decade actually feeling good.
For the past few years, I’ve been feeling lost. I didn’t know what I wanted to do or how to move forward in my life. I graduated college in 2011 at 21 years old. The only “job” I got in my field was a volunteer position at a local TV station. I loved it so much. I was comfortable there and I wish I still was there. Unfortunately, the station closed a few years ago. During my five years of volunteering, I had various part-time jobs which included a retail store and a medical walk-in office. Eventually, I started working at the office I work at now. It’s a tile company where my sister works, and I do data entry. I’ve been here for five years. Suffice to say, it’s not my dream job.
Cut to 2019—I was determined to make it my year and change everything. A few months prior, in 2018, I met a friend who was into the law of attraction and manifesting. I was hooked and wanted desperately to get it to work for me. I decided I was going to set it in motion in 2019. I knew everything I wanted, and I was going to get it.
Or not.
It’s fair to say that 2019 was an up and down rollercoaster. I went in and out of manifesting and gave into my no-motivation slump more often than I should have. In the end, I think 2019 was the year of learning and realization. Looking back on it now, I think I was so desperate for a change that I attempted to dive into manifesting and the like without much inspiration behind it. It obviously didn’t go over well. As I said to my friend who introduced me to manifesting, 2019 was the practice year.
As I mentioned, it was a year of learning and realization. I removed the toxic people from my life, namely a group of friends I had for over ten years. That is another story. I pinpointed the things I wanted (and needed) to change and decided to finally do it. Most importantly, I gave myself a break. I may not be exactly where I want to be but that’s okay. It’s okay not to have everything figured out. I took the pressure off myself and let myself be. After that, I became re-inspired. Not only did I decide that 2020 was truly going to be my year, I felt it.
Now, here I am. Two weeks into 2020. And I feel good. (Mostly. Everyone has bad days). I feel more confident and ready and maybe even a little powerful. I decided, “that’s it, I am not going to sit around anymore. I am getting everything I want because I said so, goddammit!!” My inner voice is powerful and in charge. Based on how much of RuPaul’s Drag Race I’ve been watching, I think my inner voice is RuPaul. I’m not mad at it.
I am ready to finally get everything I’ve wanted. The most important thing is that I feel good. It’s different to how I’ve felt in a long time and I am so happy about it. I’ve started my weight loss journey and I feel confident and successful. Even starting this blog is a big step in the right direction for me. I’ve also gotten back to manifesting and I am going to seriously give my energy to it. I am ready to take this year by storm and I promise that I will. In January 2021, I will have a lot to say.
How about you? How does 2020 make you feel? Do you have a list of resolutions? Or are you living your life the same way you did last month? In the end, it doesn’t matter. The most important thing is being happy in your life. If you are, that’s amazing, I applaud you. And if you’re not, that’s okay too. Remember—there’s no time limit on achieving things or “getting your life together.” You do you and have a good time doing it. Live in the moment and try to make each day count. Life is too short to be anything but happy.
Here’s to a spectacular 2020!!
The Outspoken Pineapple 